November 3, 2020 was election day. Most readers of this blog are income property owners. Most rental owners who voted, wanted to reelect President Trump. Most tenants and most California voters preferred former Vice President Biden. About 35% of eligible US votes did not vote at all. If you voted, about 51% of American voters made a different choice from yours.
Millions of Americans have a different national vision from your tribe. How shall we live then?
One notion that has been popular for more than a decade is: “Let’s get control of the levers of power, then cram it down the other guy’s throat!”. When we are in charge, it feels great to win every battle. Yet we are unlikely to be in charge forever. When the other side gets control, we can expect they will try to cram it down our throat. In my humble opinion, neither group can win an election and vanquish the other side, subvert them, or convert them.
After decades of sharpening divisions and demonizing people on the other side, it’s not surprising that some people imagine a world of winner-take-all conflict. One impactful owner hosted a discussion group titled “Civil War”. The smart gentleman who organized the Civil War discussion group was not advocating armed conflict, he feared it was inevitable. I hope he is wrong
Civil war scares me. In our days of inflation and inflammatory talk, I’m not sure many people think through their rhetoric. People shooting each other or burning wealth, like apartment buildings is horrible. Only our enemies would rejoice in civil war.
When we attempt to be peacemakers and reconcilers, some people we care about will think we’ve gone soft or that were committing treason. One multi-millionaire rental owner was so offended by my plea for extra grace in last week’s post that he is taking his business elsewhere.
An alternative strategy is to imagine that compromise is not treason. When America has made substantial and long-lasting improvements, both sides compromised. America traditionally has two approximately balanced sides. In the past, true leaders persuaded their tribe that a common goal was more important than holding out for everything their tribe wanted.
Presidents Lincoln, FDR, Bill Clinton, and Bush Jr. each made significant changes. Each one stretched beyond comfort to someone across the aisle, someone they routinely disagreed with. The opposing leaders crafted a bargain which was good for the nation’s long-term interest. Since the US has enemies, whether we recognize them or not, let’s attempt to find more common ground on a few extremely important issues.
Most readers of this blog are people of influence, whether they think of themselves as leaders or not. Your fellow readers tend to be movers, shakers, investors, advisors, or the power behind the throne. Some shape tomorrow’s leaders. Most readers influence the people around them and most impacts benefit those around them. Because you’re a person of influence, please use your influence for good.
In 100 years, you and I will be gone. In the weeks ahead, you’ll have conversations with people who trust and respect you. They will express their anxiety and their fears. You must decide whether to feed the flames or suggest compromise, grace, and trust. Your words and your deeds will build your legacy. Your impact may surprise you.
You and I encounter people who disagree with us, yet few really wish us ill. Our nation might be more peaceful and flourish more if we did less insulting, threatening, and vilifying. We would do better if we aimed for more common ground, trying to find ways to add value to others, even when it might not help us immediately.
Last week’s blog post about treating people we disagree graciously generated more response than my second and third most-read blogs combined. Several readers appreciated the perspective across about 240 years of presidential elections. What can you do to help bring us together?
-o0o-
Terry Moore, CCIM, is the author of Building Legacy Wealth: How to Build Wealth and Live a Life Worth Imitating. Read his “Welcome to My Blog.”
So true
OUTSTANDING COMMENTARY TERRY! I wholeheartedly agree with your point of view. Thank you for sharing!
Terry, I agree with your concerns about moving towards a Civil War.
We need to be out there in droves building bridges of commonality; speaking about collaboration; and celebrating our pride in our country.
Our baby steps need to start TODAY looking for every opportunity to bravely swallow our fears, listen to others, and to gain strength in vulnerability: “How can you and I work together to strengthen our neighborhoods and communities again?” “What can we do safely together to bring hope and smiles to those negatively impacted by the quarantines and social isolation?” “What are you and your family thankful for this season?”
We may not be literally able to be “out there” so we may have to do it virtually. Who can you reach out to? Who might shift if you called them to listen and gently cradle their hurts, or even their anger?
We probably need to stop talking in terms of our sides and people-choices and join in speaking of our common values and love for our communities: keeping our points of view local and intimate will help us focus on our shared values as neighbors, family members and coworkers.
And when we don’t get the answer we had wished for, can we hear with an open heart the fear and frustration of a neighbor or coworker or family member? Can we listen without the need to polarize? “I miss being your go-to neighbor and enjoying your company and humor. How is your family? How are the children doing? Are they full-time at home? ” “I miss working on projects together, and wonder how we can join forces safely even during these times?” “Yes, you’ve been through a lot.” “Yes, these are stressful times, and I’m glad to see you today and that we were able to check in with each other. I have missed seeing you.”
BE the open mindedness and patience that you want from them. Relate and be relatable. Swallow your fear so that theirs’ may be magically melted by your patience and listening.
I just had conversations like this with my brother and a client. I feel soothed by our mutuality and peaceful dialogues. Thank you, Terry, for laying out these topics.
I totally agree that we need to come together and discuss what needs to be done across party lines to MAGA. Civil war as is now being sanctioned by out going president is not the answer.