Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the lessons I have learned the hard way. The following items keep popping into my head. They’re not rules, just suggestions for you to consider.
Guard your heart.
Your future and your treasure are more closely linked to your heart than most of us realize.
You know people who fell in love with the wrong person, succumbed to addictive chemistry, or developed a bad habit, and their life was ruined. On the flip side, many of our heroes dedicated themselves to causes beyond self and were part of astounding achievements. Jesus said that wherever your treasure is, your heart will be there as well. Regardless of your belief about his claims of divinity, he was among the planet’s wisest people, still quoted by millions 2000 years after his death.
Question your assumptions.
Once upon a time, the world’s best minds believed that the sun rotated around the earth, that smoking tobacco was good for health, and leeches should be part of every physician’s toolkit. Sometimes, the first pretty good idea is inferior to what you discover later. There are more right answers and valid assumptions than most people realize.
Travel overseas.
Some discomfort was part of the original idea of travel. When you visit another country, escape the USA bubble, the fancy hotel, homogenized, sanitized pastel tourist experience. Experienced travelers recognize that the best benefits of visiting other places only start with seeing how different cultures live. As we learn about other cultures, we also learn why we do things the way we do them.
Make friends with people who are different in significant ways:
This assignment is challenging, but like many other hard tasks in life, it will likely bring unexpected rewards and perspectives.
Work hard to establish and maintain friendships with people who differ significantly from you in some way. Recognize that you’ll probably need to initiate contact most of the time. You’ll be better for it. Your buddy may appreciate it but don’t expect them to comment on it often or at all.
Do simple, social things with them. Share a meal. Walk in the park or on the beach. Go to a movie or play together. Visit local points of interest. Discuss the books you’ve been reading.
Maybe in a few years, you will vacation with one of them. Perhaps within a generation, one of you might speak at the other’s Memorial. Those things happen, you know. Unexpected relationships that grow deeply show love, maturity, peacemaking, and wisdom.
Choose your heroes wisely.
Having heroes can be a source of encouragement, hope, and vision. Ensure that the people you admire and who inspire you will help you grow in the direction you’re called to become.
If you’re a person of faith, consider admirable examples, even from people who understand spiritual matters differently. Capture, keep, and treasure insights, examples, and perspectives on how to lead a worthwhile life. Gandhi suggested that we should model the change we aspire to. He said:
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.”
Aim to learn something new each year.
Everyone says increasing your knowledge is a good thing. But there’s another benefit to learning something new. Being a novice inevitably brings humility. Humility alone is valuable. Your extra knowledge, perspective, and skill are bonuses. You’ll find yourself fascinated by people you previously might not have noticed or appreciated.
You can have your way, or you can have your say, but you can’t have both in the same situation.
Few of us have so much extra mind that we can afford to give a piece of our mind to someone else, particularly someone who may be upset with us.
Choose gratitude and joy.
Resist revenge. Reject bitterness and entitlement. Enough said.
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Now it’s your turn. What two or three things would you like your kids and your best friends to benefit from?
Your feedback is always a gift.
-o0o-
Terry Moore, CCIM, is the author of Building Legacy Wealth: How to Build Wealth and Live a Life Worth Imitating. Read his “Welcome to My Blog.”
Great insightful wisdoms
Thanks, Rhonda.
Wisdom come from attending to feedback from wise counselors
Making a mistake does not boost wisdom. Reflecting on the outcome, recognition as an error and then developing a plan to minimize the chance of repeating the blunder… that is how we become wiser.
Great life suggestions – thank you for posting! For our kids (who are still developing their careers): “Aim to learn something new each year.” For the world, especially right now: “Make friends with people who are different in significant ways.” Son, Michael, is still proceeding with his RE development deals – hopefully will be able to submit for building permits by year end. We’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, we can all pray for peace!
Prayers for peace are always good. Heaven knows the world needs peace.
Having a life plan will move one closer to worthy goal than merely drifting.
In today’s today is conflicted; we claim to honor diversity but voters have fired the moderate from both parties. The extremes rarely compromise as treason. The extremes seem to have a disproportional representation. Social media tends to build custom bubble for each person. Many of us have made significant changes over a generation Often those changes began by recognizing a person with a differnt perspective was friendly, kind, wise, smart and well informed. For many issues there is mower than one right answer. It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.
whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phillipians 4:8
Prayers for peace are always good. Heaven knows the world needs peace.
Having a life plan will move one closer to worthy goal than merely drifting.
In today’s today is conflicted; we claim to honor diversity but voters have fired the moderate from both parties. The extremes rarely compromise as treason. The extremes seem to have a disproportional representation. Social media tends to build custom bubble for each person. Many of us have made significant changes over a generation Often those changes began by recognizing a person with a differnt perspective was friendly, kind, wise, smart and well informed. For many issues there is mower than one right answer. It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.
Re: “Lessons learned the hard way”, everyone benefits from recognizing mistakes are important to gaining knowledge, Some need more mistakes than others, kids especially would benefit from recognizing the value of mistakes as a learning tool. Just a thought. Thanks for yours
Yes, realizing a blunder is a important step in decreasing the number and cost of errors, and thus the benefit of wisdom
You have learned a lot about what is important as an individual, a citizen, and as a human being. You have been blessed.
Warren Buffet said each person should write their own eulogy and then live their life to live up to it.
Never waste your energy holding a grudge.
Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.
The sage of Omaha got that one right.