My wife says that I think too much about my thinking. I think she is right. That is a joke, and it’s true. Over the last few months, I have had a new, temporary hobby of interacting with several doctors, nurses, occupational therapists, physical therapists, social workers, and speech and language pathologists. They’ve helped me think more productively about my thinking, especially the power of reflection.
The Habit of Reflection
Recently, I learned that few people actively and deliberately reflect on their life, patterns, circumstances, situation, and how they make choices. Psychologist Tasha Eurich found that 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% are. Dr. Eurich says we’re that way because we have blind spots, we often operate on autopilot, and we are more comfortable when we see ourselves in a positive light.
People who earn a living teaching adults how to think better or minimize risks often suggest a simple model: plan, do, review, reflect. Driver’s instructors do more than teach how the signal, mirrors, gas pedal, and brakes work. A master instructor may ask. “When you were in that situation, what was going on in your car? In your head? Please describe your thinking and assumptions.” A coach may ask you to talk about other situations where similar forces are in play. How did you deal with those dynamics?”
The point is not to recruit you into a new profession. I do hope you will make reflection a habit. Of course, some people drift through life without reflection. That might even be comfortable. There is the notion popularized by an ancient wise man who reflected a lot, “An unexamined, non-reflective life is not worth living.”
Below, you’ll read how following some simple patterns could produce immense benefits.
Reflect on your experience
You’ve probably heard that we learn from experience, but that’s not accurate. We learn from reflecting on our experience and then changing what we do because of what we learn. It’s part of the “plan, do, review, reflect” process. It’s a process you should repeat over and over.
Tie reflection to a journaling habit. Consider reviewing your day and writing a few sentences about your decision-making or human interaction several times a week. Reflect on how things went during the day. Plan how you might do things differently next time, which starts the cycle again.
Reflect on surprises and mistakes
Some events will be especially powerful. Researchers asked 442 executives to identify the events that had the most significant impact on making them better leaders. Here are the researchers’ conclusions after they analyzed the responses.
“Three distinct themes arose through our analysis: surprise, frustration, and failure. Reflections that involved one or more of these sentiments proved to be the most valuable in helping our leaders learn and grow in their careers.”
Reflect on your decisions
The best management and leadership thinkers I know both advocated a similar plan to build deep wisdom. Peter Drucker and Waren Bennis claimed that most of their wisdom came from the same practice.
Both would think about a problem or challenge, develop some potential solutions, investigate them, list the pluses and minuses, and then decide and carry out the decision. Many people do something similar. But Drucker and Bennis took two extra steps, resulting in greater wisdom.
They both wrote a summary of their assumptions, what they had considered, and estimates of the outcome. Occasionally, they might note their mental or emotional state. Then, six to twelve months later, each reviewed the decision-making process and results. Sometimes their solution was brilliant; sometimes it was a disaster. They considered what happened and why. After review and reflection, they often adjusted their mental habits. Over the course of decades, each man learned his strengths and weaknesses.
Recognizing a mistake does not make you smarter. Wisdom will come faster when you analyze what could be improved. What were your thinking and emotional patterns? What led you to the right path or the wrong one? How did you gather information or talk with others about the options? Many of us have learned whether deep thought alone is enough or whether we obtain better results as we discuss options with others.
If this notion has any appeal, try to do more soon. Reflecting routinely and deliberately can do you no harm. It might bring deeper revelations than you expect.
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How has reflection helped you live a better life?
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Terry Moore, CCIM, is the author of Building Legacy Wealth: How to Build Wealth and Live a Life Worth Imitating. Read his “Welcome to My Blog.”